Xander and the Snake
by Tjin
Summary: A Challenge cross with SG-1
1. Xander and the snake

- During an aversion of an apocalypse/big bad Xander finds an Egyptian themed temple/shrine/cave and in the center an urn (stasis jar) in which a Tok'ra is held.  
  
- Somehow that Tok'ra is freed and melds with Xander -- how does that affect Xander; how the Scoobies?  
  
- SG-1 somehow get informations about either the jar or the place Xander found or about a human with glowing eyes (though that may be either a vampire or Xander)  
  
Optional:  
  
- Xander finds also some Goa'uld tech he can use (either already before or only after the melding)  
  
- Xander joins SG-1  
  
- NID tries to grab Xander (or a Slayer/Witch of your choice)  
  
- Xander flirting with Sam Carter (or with Dr Fraiser (Janet) or Cassandra Fraiser, if the timeline fits)  
  
- Xander having a successful relationship  
  
- Xander and O'Neill driving General Hammond close to an heart attack with their quips/tactics/plans  
  
- Willow-babble  
  
- Kinsey dies (or loses his power)  
  
--  
  
Set during Surprise (Season Two)'  
  
Xander ducked under the demon's swing as he desperately tried to get the creature to follow him instead of the small girl he had been chasing. "Come on big boy you swing like an old- Oof!" He grunted as he dove to the side to avoid another swing. "HEY! Why do you guys always let Buffy finish the witty banter before you try to kill HER." He growled as he scrambled under the large gold coffin the creature had come out of.  
  
Looking around he saw the girl run out towards the exit. "That leaves you and me ugly." He said as he pulled the machete up and glared at the demon. "I guess I get to see if this works on you," Xander said and swallowed audibly as the large creature around the coffin toward him.  
  
While the beast approached, Xander cursed the fact he had decided that he could handle this alone. As he prepared to charge, Xander set himself and mentally the last few weeks flashed before his eyes.  
  
-Two weeks earlier-  
  
Xander stood in the library as he heard Buffy and Angel talking about him. It surprised him that it was Angel that was standing up for him.  
  
"Buffy please just listen, some of the longest lasting hunters have been humans, Van-Helsing was a human, Takada was a human, John Smith was... well he was an ass but he was also one hundred percent human." Angel said as Xander dropped to the floor so he could look through the books at the two.  
  
Buffy whirled and looked at Angel with a glare "I Don't care, Xander and Willow can't fight, and Xander's not even any good at research. I don't want him around anymore."  
  
With a nod Angel let the argument rest as Buffy left, with a sigh he stood and followed the slayer out of the library.  
  
Xander couldn't understand.  
  
He had survived being possessed Twice, he had helped to kill an Assassin and saved Buffy's life, he had survived Witches, Praying Mantis teachers, Evil Internet Demons, invisible girls AND his worst nightmare, clowns. How could she say he didn't know how to fight?  
  
With a scowl and a silent promise to show them what he could do he left the library.  
  
Over the next two weeks Buffy started to argue more and more with Xander as he desperately tried to prove he could fight. The ongoing fight between them had almost been settled when they had prepared a surprise party for Buffy.  
  
He had followed Angel and Buffy when they had left in hopes of making her see he was able to help when he noticed the big creature make off with a girl from the school. Cursing internally he wondered if he should call Buffy and Angel back or go for Kendra, Thinking about it a moment he shrugged and followed the creature. How hard can it be?  
  
That had lead him to his current predicament, dropping under the creature's swing he chopped heavily at its knee as he rolled by. Standing up with a smile he turned and the world exploded as the demon landed a heavy punch on his jaw and sent him over the coffin.  
  
He groaned as he landed on a group of the pots, Most of them shattering under his weight and more scattering about the Cave floor. Opening his eyes Xander saw the huge Demon moving towards him with murder in its eyes, groaning again he forced himself to his knee's as the shards of pottery cut into him, he distantly felt the warm trickle of blood down his back where the pots had sliced up his back. "This was my favorite shirt." He grated out as the creature slowly flexed its fist, Xander finally noticed the long claws on each finger.  
  
Waiting until the Demon reached for him Xander brought the Machete up and brought it down in a heavy overhand swing, He smiled as the creature roared in pain or fury as its thumb fell to the floor leaving a thick bluish blood dripping from where the appendage had been. Not wanting to lose the advantage he had, Xander lunged forward with a heavy downward slash that opened the Demon from just under the ribcage to just above the pelvic bone.  
  
Preparing again Xander took a step back to get momentum when the creature backhanded him across the room, Slamming into the largest pot he heard something in his arm crack as he dropped to the floor amidst the clattering of the pot as it tipped and spilled it's contents on the ground.  
  
Xander failed to notice the weird snakelike creature as it pulled itself out of the pot and watched the two combatants with interest.  
  
He was beginning to feel the effects of the blood loss as the Creature picked up a long staff and began to close in on him, dropping under the clumsy swing Xander rolled back and picked up the machete again. The next swing caught him on the leg and dropped him to the ground.  
  
Rolling to avoid the strikes, Xander winced as the stone and pottery cut his clothes and flesh in multiple places. Finally getting back to his feet Xander jumped over another low swing before lunging at the large creature with a heavy stab.  
  
As the demon's eyes widened as Xander's stab caught in between the leather skin and sunk into its neck. Dropping the staff, the creature grabbed Xander's neck and slowly started to squeeze the life out of him.  
  
Xander was getting tunnel vision quickly so he forced the blade deeper into the creature's neck before finally blacking out.  
  
The snake watched the boy go limp as the Unas collapsed in a lifeless heap, thinking about it's odds it moved over and quietly entered the boys mouth, No one was around to see Xander's eyes flare open and glow before he forced the dead corpse away and stiffly sat itself in the coffin.  
  
--  
  
Xander sat up quickly and looked around the cave in confusion, the glowing light from the coffin illuminated the small room he was in.  
  
Looking down he shuddered as he looked at the shredded shirt he had on.  
  
Getting out of the coffin Xander looked around and shuddered again as he saw the dead body of the demon.  
  
Unas. The word echoed through his mind as Xander spun around in search of the voice. "Who said that? Show yourself." He ordered as he looked through the empty cave.  
  
I would if I could but... you don't have a mirror. The voice stated as Xander spun around again.  
  
"Where are you? Who are you?" He asked confused as he finally noticed the light touch in the back of his mind.  
  
I am inside you, which answers the first part. The second part is slightly more complicated. Xander could almost swear he heard it sigh as it answered. From what I can tell of your mind I am what you would primitively call a Demon' or possession. It answered as Xander sat down again.  
  
"Well great... third times the charm right." He muttered as he tried to think it through. "So you told me What' you are but not Who' you are... how about you answer that one."  
  
Again Xander could hear the voice sigh before it continued I am a Tok'ra. I was Prime Weapons Engineer for Ra himself before I decided to mend the error of my ways. My name is Yerin. The voice stated before Xander doubled up in pain. And if you continue the thought about what bodily fluid it rhymes with I will harm you. The voice grated out as the pain subsided.  
  
"Okay, how do I get you out?" Xander asked.  
  
Simply put... you can't, But if we can get to the Chappa'ai so I can return to my people, they may be able to remove me from your body safely Yerin said as Xander closed his eyes and sighed.  
  
"Where?" he said before a word caught his attention. "And what the hell is a Chap an eye?" he asked.  
  
You do not know the Chappa'ai? Then... where are the system lords? Where is Ra? Yerin asked as Xander just sat in confusion.  
  
"Okay one more time... this time with smaller words please?" Xander asked.  
  
Yerin was confused now and decided to take a rather drastic step. Please forgive me, this may cause some discomfort, he said before searching quickly through Xander's mind for the answers he needed.  
  
Xander closed his eyes as the headache overwhelmed him for a second before it was gone. "What the HELL was that?" Xander growled in confusion as the headache vanished as quickly as it came.  
  
Yerin's response was laced with shock as he tried to imagine how it happened. They're gone, the System lords, Ra, the Goa'uld themselves... are all gone.  
  
Xander sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. This is gonna take a loooong time to get used to,he thought before he felt Yerin's silent agreement. 


	2. Xander and the snake 2

Very well, I need you to do some things. First the staff the Unas was attacking you with, you need to place it in the sarcophagus. The same goes for the zatnicatels. Yerin warned Xander as the boy moved about and put the potentially dangerous items in the coffin like box he had woken up in.  
  
"Okay, Sat-nickel-tells all present and accounted for." He mumbled as he looked at the odd device. "What is this anyway?" he questioned as he stepped back from the Sarcophagus and watched as it closed with a grinding sound.  
  
The Zatnicatel is a police weapon, the first charge disrupts the nerve endings in the body causing severe pain and disabling the target, the second charge fries the nerves and nerve center in the brain causing death, the third shot rips the cells apart and disintegrates the body. Yerin states as Xander looks back at the coffin as if it was full of vipers.  
  
"You mean I had a gun that would kill and then destroy the body? My god what the hell do you think would happen if some psychopath got a hold of that thing." He rambled as he tried to calm down. "Or Spike, what the hell would Spike do with that thing."  
  
Fortunately I have a plan. Yerin stated before assuming control of the body, walking over to one of the piles of artifacts he pulled out a small palm device with a large red crystal in the palm before ceding control to the almost frantic Xander.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" Xander shouted as his body came back under his control.  
  
I was merely attempting to expedite our exit as effectively as possible. Yerin said in confusion at his host's reaction. You merely had to request your body back and I would have complied.  
  
"What, you mean the screaming and thrashing about didn't clue you in?" Xander grated in frustration at the creature he was sharing space with.  
  
Please remember that when I'm in control you have no vocal cords or mouth, screaming will not result in me hearing you, you need to focus your thought towards me if you want me to hear you. he explained as Xander started to calm down.  
  
"Yeah yeah, whatever just... make sure you warn me before you do that again." He said before standing and heading for the exit. "So how is this going to make sure no baddies get a hold of this stuff?"  
  
If you would allow me I'll show you. Yerin said and retook the body when Xander consented. Stepping out of the Cave he carefully studied the walls before aiming his hand at a section of the ceiling.  
  
With a distortion of the air the Ceiling to the entrance collapsed and sealed the cave. THAT is how we are going to keep the "crazies" as you called them from entering.  
  
Xander stared in shock at the settling dust before realizing he was in control again. "Okay, what in the hell was that" he asked slowly as he looked down at the small device on his hand.  
  
That was a Nel'Kree, A Goa'uld device designed as a symbol of rank and power. Yerin said with a smirk at the waves of shock from his host. It is a multipurpose item that can be used in a wide range of settings.  
  
Xander stared at the intricate bracelet and palm device before shaking off the shock. "Okay I think you have a lot of explaining to do."  
  
He ignored the lingering sigh that echoed through his mind.  
  
--  
  
Xander walked out of the cave in a daze. Aliens are real?he stared at the pink glow on the horizon as he tried to work out the implications. Okay if aliens are real how come none of them ever came here?he asked Yerin as he made his way back home.  
  
They probably did try, but the Shi'Ang defense grid must still be operational, anything less then a pyramid ship would be hard pressed to enter without the deactivation codes. Yerin said after thinking for a second. And the planet would be considered too minor for them to risk a pyramid ship on for the three days it would require to purge the life from the surface.  
  
Xander stopped in shock again. "Are you telling me they could wipe out all life on the planet? Why the hell would they want to do that?"  
  
Yerin thought for a moment before continuing. Ra was probably forced from the planet by your ancestors, he would not want it known that he was unable to keep his slaves in line, as such it is doubtful the system lords even know the location of his planet or that it is no longer under their control... unless someone has activated the Chappa'ai, if the Goa'uld knew the coordinates they would be able to trace where the planet is. the Tok'ra symbiote said as Xander sat down carefully.  
  
"You're telling me the only reason we are alive is because some worm had more ego than brains?" Xander muttered before doubling up in pain.  
  
WE ARE NOT WORMS! Yerin raged as Xander held his head in pain.  
  
"Mister Xander? What are you doing out here?" Kendra asked as she saw Xander doubled up in pain.  
  
Xander groaned as he looked up at the Jamaican Slayer. "Nothing, just a headache is all." He muttered as he sat up and growled at the Tok'ra internally.  
  
Kendra sat down beside him and watched his facial expressions change every so often. "Do you believe I am stupid Alexander?" she asked as Xander jumped and looked at her.  
  
The woman is very pretty isn't she? Yerin asked as he realized how close he was to being noticed by the dark female.  
  
Xander stared at Kendra as if she was a pit viper "Wha-? Yes, I mean NO!" he shouted before dropping his head into his hands. "Just shoot me now." He muttered to himself as he realized what he'd said.  
  
The slayer watched the young man for several seconds, finally realizing he would tell them when he felt comfortable, she patted him on the shoulder. "Come on, Mister Giles asked me to find you and make sure you were okay."  
  
Sighing Xander stood "Sure, let's go and make sure no one worries about the normal one getting hurt." He muttered as he walked beside the young Jamaican.  
  
"It is my job Alexander; you do not need to be hurt to do this." 


	3. Xander and the snake 3

Xander groaned as he got up the next morning. Why the hell do I feel so sore today?He grumbled to himself.  
  
That would probably be due to my using your body while you slept, Yerin said simply as Xander stopped in confusion.  
  
"I Thought I told you not to use my body without my permission." He snapped as he picked up some clothes and headed for the bathroom.  
  
Yerin gave the feeling of being deeply insulted. And I did ask you if I could use your body. he stated.  
  
Xander stopped for a second and thought back to the night before. "I'm kinda sure I'd remember if someone asked to use my body Yerin, when exactly did you ask?" He wondered, as he got ready for his day. Xander began to feel amused laughter through his mind as he brushed his teeth. "When did you ask?" He demanded again.  
  
Yerin finally got control again as the laughter subsided. You had just fallen asleep, this beautiful woman walked up and leaned over you before asking AND I QUOTE, 'Alexander I want to use your body, do you have any problems with that?' at which point you said no... or more correctly 'You can use my body for anything you want.' I believed you so I took control of your body and did some research. Yerin said as he felt Xander begin a rant. Ooh come on now, it's not like you had any use for it during that time, he muttered as Xander sat down and sighed.  
  
"That's not the point dammit, what would you have done if my parents had woken up? Or if Willow had come by?" Xander growled.  
  
Yerin for his part became silent for several moments before speaking again. You had best get dressed, I may not know many of your customs but clothing seems to be a part of your lifestyle. he said before sinking into thought.  
  
After a moment Xander complied.  
  
--  
  
Xander walked through the crowded halls as he desperately tried to ignore the constant degrading of the planet as Yerin continued to complain about how poorly the general status of the planet was.  
  
The oceans are polluted, the Ozone is being quickly stripped away, the ecosystem is being shattered and your governments are decades away from the common man being able to purchase weapons of mass destruction. The Tok'ra complained as Xander sighed in frustration.  
  
Yeah and I bet your kind has the perfect society, right?Xander growled sarcastically to the other member of the time-share.  
  
Of course, the Tok'ra have a harmonious and honest society. Yerin said with great pride.  
  
He was quite upset when Xander burst out in laughter. You-you think you h- have a perfect society?He finally managed to get out through the laughter.  
  
Cringing in pain Xander let the laughter die down to a chuckle. Come on Yerin, your species is broken into the obsessive compulsive megalomaniac worms with a god complex and uptight anal retentive putzes like yourself who want to beat them for who knows what reasons,he said as he tried to settle the symbiote down. I mean, from what you say the Tok'ra would likely let both me and you die just to protect their precious hidden base,he said as he felt the boiling anger from his roommate.  
  
Carefully trying to reign in his anger Yerin seethed for a moment before responding. FIRST, we are neither anal retentive nor uptight Alexander Harris, and secondly WE ARE NOT WORMS! He thundered as Xander flinched in pain.  
  
Okay okay, I have definitely caught on to the whole anti-worm deal going on here,he mumbled apologetically as Yerin calmed down. Look I have enough trouble trying to keep myself from saying something stupid, now you want me to stop thinking stupid? You may as well tell a bird not to fly,he commented as he looked around to see if anyone noticed the pain he had recently survived.  
  
Snorting himself, Yerin realized the child was right, it would be difficult for the young man to avoid saying something insulting. Please try at least, I understand you are mentally inferior but if you do not at least attempt to avoid being insulting I will be forced to find a way to harm you. The Tok'ra commented as Xander entered the last class of the day.  
  
Xander considered the comment for several seconds before he scowled, Just what do you mean mentally inferior?   
  
--  
  
Xander was still arguing with his roommate an hour later as he walked into the library.  
  
I am just saying that if you had genetic memories you would consider all other learning path's inferior. Yerin stated as Xander just shook his head.  
  
The fact we've made it as far as we have WITHOUT the memories of our parents proves we're a threat. Xander continued before looking up at Giles. "Hey G-man, what up?"  
  
Looking up from where he was helping Kendra, Giles looked at the young teen for several seconds before straightening up. "Alexander why do you persist in using that infuriating nickname?" the British elder asked as Xander sat down at the table.  
  
"Well I could just call you British, or Ruper-man, ooh or Super-Ruper, and hey if you had a shovel you'd be the Super-Ruper-Scooper." He said with a smirk as Giles glared at him for a second before sighing in resignation and going back to helping Kendra.  
  
From the back of his mind he felt a similar smirk from Yerin And if he followed dogs around would that not make him the Super-Ruper-Pooper- Scooper? The Tok'ra asked as Xander chuckled at the joke.  
  
You're not supposed to make jokes, you're supposed to be anal-retentive self righteous and stuck up. Xander mock growled as Yerin smirked back. "So G-man, what are we researching today? Apocalypses? Or is it Apocaly?" Xander said as he thought about I minute before shrugging. "Oh well, what are we researching today?"  
  
Any answer was cut off by Buffy entering the library "Xander, I thought I told you I don't want you helping." She stated before turning to Kendra and Giles. "Have either of you seen Angel?"  
  
Kendra watched as Xander scowled at Buffy for a second before he got a far away look and smiled and nodded to Giles before leaving the library.  
  
Considering her options Kendra stood and followed the young man out as Buffy and Giles continued to talk about the disappearance of the vampire Angel.  
  
Kendra could understand why Buffy refused to kill the undead being as he had a soul, but the idea of a relationship with a corpse... Kendra shuddered at the thought before continuing after Xander.  
  
--  
  
Xander had a fake smile as he walked through the school. Why does she continue to ignore my help? He grumbled to the symbiote as he walked down the hall. "I mean, I've been in this almost as long as she has."  
  
I understand what you mean, perhaps you should consider patrolling without her support. Yerin suggested, as he thought about the possible applications of the zatnicatel on vampires and demons.  
  
"I would, but what would I do if I ran into something too heavy, like a vampire."  
  
"I will kill them, Alexander." Kendra said as she saw Xander jump.  
  
"Kendra, w-where did you come from?" Xander stuttered as he looked around at the empty halls.  
  
Kendra stared at Xander for several seconds before she took a step foreword. "Alexander I believe WE need to talk." 


	4. Xander and the snake 4

Xander dropped onto the bench while Kendra sat down beside him and watched him for a second. "What? Do I have mustard on my face" Have I been walking around with a pimple, what's going on Ken?" he asked nervously as the young slayer watched him for several more seconds.  
  
"Alexander, do you know what chapter fourteen of the slayers handbook is about?" she asked as she watched Xander fidget on the hardwood bench.  
  
Xander thought for a second before shaking his head. "Nope, can't say as I do. I mean reading the slayers handbook without being a slayer would be like..." he paused as he considered an appropriate analogy. "A democrat considering a republican proposition, it just doesn't happen." He said before he sighed at her blank look. "It just doesn't happen Kendra, so what is chapter fourteen of the slayers handbook about?"  
  
"It is about Possessions and Mental persuasion." She stated as she watched Xander's face fall. "Alexander if you've been possessed we need to know, we need to find a way to help you and to make sure it's not evil."  
  
Xander flinched internally as he tried to hide any expression that would alert her to how close she was as he heard the laughter of Yerin in the back of his mind.  
  
Smart and good looking? Do you have any idea how many Goa'uld would rip the planet apart for her? The Tok'ra commented as he listened to her talk about the dangers of possession.  
  
Xander put on a smile as he growled internally This isn't funny, how are we going to convince her I'm not possessed?he growled at the laughter of the parttime headache he had acquired.  
  
Yerin continued to chuckle as he thought about the situation. None of my business, anything they can do happens to YOU. He said with amusement as he considered his host's options. You could tell her the truth and let me explain?   
  
With a sigh of resignation Xander looked back at Kendra for a second before his eyes Glowed Silver. "Good evening Miss Kendra, I am Yerin.   
  
As the conversation continued neither noticed the young man finish snapping pictures of them from behind some bush's before he crept off to his motorcycle.  
  
--  
  
It was three hours later the young man brought it up to his dad who sent a message to one of his relatives.  
  
Jack O'Neil sat at his Computer as he checked his E-mail and wondered at one in particular.  
  
To: O'Neil-JackNorad.Cheyanne.com From: Mac Subject: I need some advice.  
  
Hey Jack, long time no see. Sam was taking some pictures of some of the weird things going on here and I thought you should know before I informed Phoenix of the development.  
  
Jack sighed as he looked over the gathered photos for several minutes before he saw the one the clearly showed the silver glow of the young mans eyes.  
  
Jacks eyebrows go up as he views the palm device and silver eyes, "Hello." With a sigh of frustration he picked up the phone and punched in the extension. "General, this is Jack, I just got a report of possible Goa'uld sighting in California." He said as he waited for the response "Pretty hard evidence sir, a photo taken by a relative shows more then a passing resemblance to Goa'uld possession." He said before sighing again. "Yes sir, right away sir." He said as he hung up the phone and glared at the screen again before hitting the print button, the last page just printed when he heard the annoying voice he had been expecting. "SG1 to the briefing room, SG1 to the briefing room immediately."  
  
Muttering to himself about Murphy and the universe being out to get him he headed to the briefing room.  
  
He was surprised when he entered to see the entire SG1 team already in a heated discussion with the general.  
  
"Sir please tell me we have a mission? Anything at all, I'll even go and 'Advise' on the Wormhole X-treme show without pay if you ask me to." Sam was saying as she tried to persuade the general to revoke their off duty status.  
  
Jack smiled as he walked in. "Sorry to break the bad news team, but it seems were going to have to postpone the fishing trip." He said sadly.  
  
As he had turned to the general he missed the relieved expressions that washed over Sam and Daniel's face at that comment. "We have what appears to be a Goa'uld presence on Earth." He stated as he passed out the printed pages to the others. "A photographer took these less then six hours ago in a small town in California." He said as the team studied the pictures briefly.  
  
Sam was the first with a question "Sir how do we know these haven't been tampered with? And how did they know to send it to you?" she said as Jack coughed before responding.  
  
"They where taken by my nephew, and he showed them to Angus who E-mailed them to me." He said as he ignored the shock in his teammate's faces as he looked back at the general. "Sir, request permission to take SG1 to Sunnydale in search of the Goa'uld."  
  
Hammond nodded at the request. "Granted Colonel, if we have a Goa'uld here I want to know what he's up to and how much damage he's caused." He said before standing "Dismissed." He said before walking out.  
  
Jack dropped the salute as the general walked out before turning back to the questioning face of his teammates "What?" 


	5. Xander and the snake 5

Jack O'Neil sat in the C-130 as he tried to ignore the endless droning in the huge plane.  
  
"But if the frequency of the event horizon was to synchronize with a stellar Pulsar it is feasible the wormhole could be refocused on a far distant target allowing for an increase in distance without requiring an eighth chevron." Carter was saying as Jack leaned back against the hull and let the vibrations of the engines wash away the sound.  
  
It was four hours later that an airman shook him awake. "SIR!" he said as he lightly shook the Colonel awake. "Sir, fifteen minutes to touchdown." He said and headed back to the cockpit when the Colonel's eyes snapped open and focused.  
  
Shaking the sleep away Jack looked around at his team.  
  
Teal'c was finishing up the Kel'noreem, Carter was saving her rambling technobabble onto her computer and Daniel was complaining about the lack of coffee.  
  
Growling about how the Goa'uld were intentionally trying to keep him from fishing, Jack tightened the straps and prepared for landing.  
  
--  
  
It was several hours after the conversation started as the two still sat on the bench.  
  
Kendra stared at Xander in shock. "Alexander are you saying that this..." She paused as she tried to remember what it called itself. "This Tok'ra is able to take control of your body?"  
  
Yerin looked at the floor for a second before looking back. "Miss Kendra, Alexander fought an Unas." He stopped at Kendra's gasp. "Have you heard of them?"  
  
Kendra nodded after a seconds thought. "The Unas is a very rare reptile demon, It's strength and speed make it a difficult opponent, but its regenerative ability is legendary." She said as she tried to remember all the information about creature.  
  
Yerin nodded as he listened to the slayer. "It's not a demon but the information is correct, Xander fought a Feral Unas, he succeeded in saving the potential victim of the creature and finally killing it, but he died in the process." Yerin said as he tried to ignore the shock radiating from the host. "I made the decision to take him as a host and managed to keep him alive until I managed to get him into the sarcophagus."  
  
Slow down there, you mean I DIED? As in dead, Rest in Peace, Dust in the wind DEAD!Xander raved as he tried to make sense of what had happened. I know I blacked out but... I WAS DEAD?  
  
--  
  
Jack grinned as he walked off the base with his team. "So kids, you all ready to meet Angus?" he said with a grin as he saw the two men standing by an SUV.  
  
As the group walked up Jack's older brother grinned "Hey jack, been what? Eight years?"  
  
"Eight, Angus, you haven't spoken to me since my wedding." He said as Mac winced.  
  
"John I warned you not to call me that." He grated out as he glared at his younger twin. "My name is MacGyver, you can call me Mac." He introduced himself to the rest of SG1.  
  
"Did O'Neil not say your name was Angus?" Teal'c asked from the rear of the group.  
  
MacGyver glared at his brother for a second before clearing his throat. "It's a family joke, my name's Mac."  
  
Teal'c nodded slowly, "I am... Murray."  
  
Coughing to avoid laughing, Jack turned to his nephew. "So Sam, where did you get those pictures?"  
  
Carter smiled at that "From you, Sir."  
  
Jack glared at his second in command "I meant my nephew carter." He grated before turning back to his brother's son. "So, where did you take the pictures?"  
  
Sean Angus Malloy grinned at his uncle "I thought you might find them interesting, Uncle Jack, lets get going and I'll take you there."  
  
Five minutes later all six were driving out of LA and towards the small town of Sunnydale. 


	6. Xander and the snake 6

In a hotel room across town Jenny Calendar was sitting down with her uncle.

"You know what it is, this thing vengeance?" Enyos asked as Jenny sighed tiredly.

"Uncle, I have served you. I have been faithful. I need to know..." she got before Enyos interrupts her as he continues.

"To the modern man vengeance is a verb, an idea. Payback. One thing for another. Like commerce. Not with us. Vengeance is a living thing. It passes through generations. It commands. It kills." He says before taking a sip of his drink and allowing Jenny to continue.

"You told me to watch Angel. You told me to keep him from the Slayer. I tried. But there are other factors. There are terrible things happening here that we cannot control." She said as her uncle set the tea down again.

"We control nothing. We are not wizards, Janna. We merely play our part."

"Angel could be of help to us. I mean, he may be the only chance we have to stop the Judge." Jenny tried to argue for the vampire as her uncle shook his head.

"It is too late for that." He said simply as Jenny looked confused.

"Why"

Leaning back in the chair the elder gypsy tried to explain. "The curse. Angel is meant to suffer, not to live as human. One moment of true happiness, of contentment, one moment where the soul that we restored no longer plagues his thoughts and that soul is taken from him."

Thinking for a moment at the implications before she looks back at her uncle. "Then, if somehow, if... if it's happened... then Angelus is back."

Nodding sadly one of the few remaining Romany sighed. "I hoped to stop it. But I realize now it was arranged to be so."

Looking at her elder Jenny realized how it could happen. "Buffy loves him." She said simply to the nodding elder.

"And now she will have to kill him." He responded with finality as Jenny stood up quickly.

"Unless he kills her first! Uncle, this is insanity! People are going to die." She demands at her uncle as he nods again.

"Yes. It is not justice we serve. It is vengeance."

Sighing in frustration as she grabs her coat Jenny looks back at her uncle. "You are a fool. We're all fools." She says before storming out of the hotel room.

--

"XANDER HOW COULD YOU!" The teen flinched as he turned around to face an enraged Cordelia Chase.

Shaking his head in confusion Xander tries to figure out what the Queen of Sunnydale high was talking about. "Cordy what's going on? What are you talking about?"

"First you disappear all last night then you show up acting weird and start hanging out with, with HER." She spat out the last word as she pointed an accusing finger at Kendra. "I may not be as smart as some people Alexander Harris but I do know when someone is messing around on me." She accused before turning and fleeing deeper into the halls of Sunnydale high and leaving a confused Slayer and Symbiot behind.

Looking after Cordelia for several seconds Xander looked back at Kendra with a frown. "Okaaaay... I'm confused." He says before the lights go out. "Now I'm wigged." He whispers as he looked around the darkened school, Xander got the prickly feeling up his back. "Kendra, get to the library make sure everyone okay." He ordered before running after the cheerleader that had fled into the school.

--

Xander skidded to a stop outside the lounge when he heard somebody shouting.

Looking in Xander sees Miss Calendar with a cross as she beckons Cordelia away from Angel as the vampire walk up behind her and grabs her around the neck.

Pushing the door open Xander slips his hand into the small palm device he had brought as he advanced on the Vampire. "ANGEL, don't do that." He orders as the vampire sneers at him.

"Oh, I think I do that." He sneers out as Cordelia struggles with the hand around her throat.

"Angel What..." She asks in confusion as Jenny and Xander approach cautiously.

"He's not Angel anymore. Are you?" Jenny accuses as she moves closer to the newly resurrected Scourge of Europe.

"Wrong. I am Angel." He growls as he tightens his grip around Cordelia's neck. "At last!"

Seeing the change in the Vampire Xander realizes what has happened. "Oh, my god." He whispers in disbelief as Angel slowly tightens his grip around the cheerleader's throat.

"I got a message for Buffy." He says before a low chuckle breaks out from Xander.

"I got a message for you Fangs." Xander growls as he takes a step foreword and brings the Nel'Kree up and targets the vampire. "Bite me." He growls as Yerin triggers the device and the distortion of the air strikes the Vampire on the side of the head ripping a gash from below his eye to his chin and cutting it off back to his ear.

As the Vampire flew back from the impact Xander took aim again before another impact threw his aim off.

Angel grinned as he saw Buffy slam into the boy that had ruined his plans before getting to his feet and heading out of the school.

Xander rolled with the impact before turning back and freezing the blonde slayer with the palm Device. "Buffy he tried to KILL CORDELIA!" he yelled at the blonde slayer before running after the Vampire.

--

Angel slowed to a walk as he exited the High school, He knew that Buffy wouldn't follow and would keep the others from trying to stake him as well.

The explosion of the large double doors behind him warns him that his logic had more then one flaw as Xander stepped out with that weird hand device he had used before.

--

Jack was tired, Jet lagged and Angry as his brother continued to Charm his team with anecdotes of Jacks youth.

Smirking to himself as His older brother started one of the more embarrassing stories Jack leaned foreword. "Yeah but there was this one Halloween when Angus was talked into dressing as..." he was cut off as the older brother Slammed on the breaks and skidded to a stop before twisting around to glare at his younger brother.

"Jack... we swore we would never speak of that again, you SWORE." He said pointing an accusing finger at his smirking brother.

Jack shrugged and leaned back in the seat with a smirk. "Yeah, just like we swore about the noodle incident." Jack commented on the story Mac was beginning.

The two brothers glared at each other for a minute before Mac conceded defeat and turned back to the road. "You know you cheat don't you." He accused his younger brother as Jack just smiled.

Any continuation on the conversation was cut short when the large SUV slammed into a figure as he ran across the road.


	7. Xander and the snake 7

Here is part Seven, Sorry it took so long to post it but This 'Real life' thing is starting to become a 'Real Drag' And whoever came up with this whole 'Work' Idea should be shot.

'Muffled comment about the French'

and yes i do hear you mister sparrow Okay OKAY CAPTAIN Sparrow. Geez sometimes i wonder where these people come from.

--

In the library Giles paced in front of Cordelia and Jenny while the rest sit around and watch the interrogation.

"And we're absolutely certain that, that Angel has reverted to his former self?" Giles asked as the two women nodded.

"He was like all… Grrr." Cordelia explained as Jenny remained silent.

"And… and Xander?" Giles asked questioningly as the stories of Xander's exploits had varied.

"Xander pointed his hand at Angelus and a distortion flew from his hand to Angelus ripping him from Cordelia." Jenny stated as Cordelia nodded.

"Yeah the blast came from this really tacky hand thing that not even 'I' could make look good." Cordelia added as the assembled demon hunters looked back to Giles.

"W-What should we do?" Willow asked as Giles slumped into a chair with a sigh.

"Well I'm leaning towards blind panic myself."

"Rupert, don't talk like that." Jenny warned as she looked at the other assembled. "The kids." She said in way of explanation.

"I'm sorry. It's just that things are bad enough with the Judge, Spike and Drucilla here. Angel crossing over to the other side and Xander exhibiting these unknown powers... I-I-I wasn't prepared for that." The Watcher said as he removed his glasses and tried to rub the tension from his head.

Looking down with a sigh Jenny looked down again. "None of us were." She whispered quietly.

--

Jack jumped back as the man rolled over with a groan. Standing in silence with the rest of SG1 he waited.

Deathgliders, Invisible Aliens, Nanite infections, Invisible Pacifists.Jack looked around carefully at the empty streets.

"No way is it this easy."

--

Angel walked into the warehouse as he carefully felt the regenerated skin along the side of his face.

His internal threats against Xander were cut short when Spike rolled up with a smile.

"So mate, Didja kill her?"

"You should have seen the look on her face." Angel said with a grin as his mood lightened considerably. "It was priceless."

Spike watched the reinstated scourge of Europe for a moment before shaking his head. "You mean you didn't kill her?"

"Of course not." Angel said with a sneer at the wheelchair bound vampire.

"I know you've been out of the game for a while mate, but we do still kill people ya know."

"You don't want to kill her, do you?." Drusilla interrupted as she poked at her dolls eyes. "Just like daddy hurt me." She said as she smiled at Angelus for a moment before frowning again. "But the mean little snake in Kittens ear won't let daddy hurt the slayer… he speaks such sweet poison into my kitten's ear." The insane vampiress said before smiling again. "Will daddy get me a snake? Their bites hurt so good." She whispered before starting to rock herself slightly.

Angel watched his childe hum to herself for a moment before turning to Spike. "Is it just me or has she gone even more loopy in the last hundred years?"

"Just make sure your slayer doesn't get in the way."

"Don't worry about it." Angelus reassured his grand-childe before smiling to himself. "Don't worry about a thing."


	8. Xander and the snake 8

(Kinda slow but i needed to write this out before it chewed its way out of my head like a young alien does to people's chests.)

Xander and the Snake 8

Xander slowly swims back to consciousness, "What the heck hit me?" he groans while holding his throbbing skull, still flat on his back.

"That would be an SUV."

Xander looks up at the tall black man whose expression reminds him of a certain bass player. Before he could formulate a witty comeback Yerin takes over, making his eyes flash, "Thrice damned Death Glider pilots, can't read simply designed instruments!" he growls as his former life literally passed before his eyes.

Looking up at the armed people surrounding him his eyes come to rest on the imposing dark skinned man, he felt a tingle of recognition before the realization hits him. "JAFFA!" He screams as he backpedals away from the group.

The cocking of automatic weapons freezes him as Xander's mind recognizes the sounds.

"Sam, cuff him." The grey haired warrior orders as the female advances with metal restraints.

Returning the body to Xander's control, Yerin falls back into the boy's subconscious, out of shock at the presence of a Jaffa.

Looking down the barrels of the guns, Xander gulps audibly, "Was it something I said?" he asks as he's rolled over and handcuffed. When he's hauled to his feet he chuckles nervously, "Usually I save the S&M till the third date, but in this case…" His lame attempt at humor trails off as he notices the whitened knuckles of the trigger fingers, deciding to err on the side of caution, he closes his mouth.

Jack glares at the Goa'uld as Sam takes off the hand device and wonders what it's up to moments before a heavy impact sends him to the pavement.

Hearing the collapse of O'Neill, Teal'c turns in time to catch a heavy kick to the chin spinning him away from the dark skinned female that had attacked him.

Landing heavily, Teal'c rises as the small girl lands a punch on Daniel before she turns towards the Goa'uld and Major Carter.

Kendra glared at the woman that held Xander as she tried to figure out the best way to get her friend away from her.

Hearing a scrape on pavement behind her Kendra turned as a heavy tackle from the biggest man dragged her to the ground.

Rolling with the impact Kendra spun up before throwing a powerful uppercut that connected with the man's jaw sending him to the ground again.

Turning towards the female once more Kendra jerked Xander away before spinning into a leg sweep.

Picking herself up from the ground Sam watched as the two disappeared into the darkness before turning back to the downed members of her team.

--

(Enyos's Hotel Room.)

Enyos hears the door open as he smokes his pipe silently. "I knew she would bring you. I suppose you want answers."

"Not really." Angel says with a smile as he watch's the Romany start and turn to face him. "But thanks for the offer." Angel says as he takes a step in.

And stops in confusion as his foot fails to cross the threshold.

Enyos stared at the 'Scourge of Europe' for a moment and he shook his head at the vampire. "I am an elder of the Romany clan, did you really expect me to stay on top of the hellmouth and NOT do so much as an un-invite spell?" he asked the master vampire before turning back to his room.

By the time he returned with the crossbow Angelus was already gone.

Thinking for a moment Enyos peeked out the door. "How exactly did you find me anyway?" he asked the empty hall and shrugged when no answer returned. Closing the door Enyos picked up his phone and dialed a numbers from memory. "Sir. This is Enyos, I have some disturbing news about Angelus."

--

Xander slumped on a park bench as he tried to regain his breath. "So Gasp How did you Gasp Find me so Wheeze Fast?" he gasped out as he glared enviously at Kendra who failed to show any signs of exertion.

"When the others showed up and told me what happened I came looking for Angelus, I was lucky enough to find you instead." She said as she looked back in the direction they came from. "Who were they?" she asked as Xander's breathing came back under control.

Reliving the intense fear Yerin felt for the big one Xander shuddered before shaking the feeling off. "Trouble Ken, there trouble." Xander muttered before looking up at the dark slayer again. "Angelus got away." Xander said as he stared at the palm of his hand in thought.

"Alexander? What are you thinking about?"

The words startled Xander out of his thoughts, shaking his head to clear it Xander looked up at Kendra for a moment. "Ken, what do the books say on this 'Judge' guy everyone is worried about?"

Thinking about it a moment Kendra thought back to the reading she had done on the demon known as the Judge before she responded. "They say he is immune to all weapons forged by man and that it took an army supported by a slayer to defeat him last time."

Thinking about it again Xander asked Yerin a question before smiling at the answer. "I think I know how to take him out." He said before looking up at Kendra "But umm… do you think you could get these off me first?" he said holding out his hands as he jiggled the chain connecting the cuffs.

--

Enyos reached for the crossbow as the door opened but relaxed when his niece walked through with the slayer. "Aah Janna, how good of you to join me." He said before turning his back on the two and continued to read the book on his lap, ignoring the two women that had barged in.

Glaring at the older man Buffy stormed around and knocked the book out of his hand, grabbed him around the neck and pushed him back up out of the chair. "What did you do to Angel." She growled.

Almost rolling his eyes at the stupidity of it all, Enyos removed the cap from his ring before throwing a pinch of the powder within into the slayers face.

Jerking back from the powder Buffy let go of the old gypsy before crashing to the ground, as she tried to stand she could almost feel the strength bleed out of her. In moments she lacked the strength to even attempt to stand.

Miss Calendar blinked, stunned.

Watching the slayer struggle to rise for a moment before collapsing back to the floor, Enyos shook his head and turned back to his niece. "Janna, help me sit her on the chair." He ordered his shocked niece.

Finally getting her in the chair Enyos retrieved his book and sat down again. "Now Slayer, you asked me a question. The answer is, nothing." He shook his head at the glare Buffy sent him. "It's quite true slayer, some hundred years ago Angelus killed a child of the Romany Clan, in vengeance we cursed the demon with a soul, what you have to understand is Curses are meant to be broken, any powerful curse must have a breach clause or it would take far too much to curse them, we found that binding a soul to a corpse takes a level of power that none of out ancestors possessed. As such they decided to allow the curse to feed off an emotion." The elder gypsy explained before he took a sip of his tea and went back to the explanation.

"We found that grief would be of sufficient level to keep the monster bound. But as I said curses are meant to be broken, our ancestors found that if he had one moment of happiness the curse would shatter, so looking through time we focused him on the one thing we thought he could never achieve, we had him fall in love with a slayer, now at the time we believed that that would make it fool-proof as we never even imagined a slayer would love a vampire." He said before glancing back at Buffy.

"But make something fool-proof and they make a bigger fool I suppose." He sighed before looking at his watch again. "And on that note I must take my leave, I am awaiting a package from home." He said as he stood and headed for the door. "And Janna, Your mother has taken a liking to this Ripper fellow, make sure he knows how much you had to sacrifice for this." Enyos said before walking out of the small apartment leaving a paralyzed slayer and a shocked Tecno-Pagan behind.

--

Angelus growled as he walked down the steps of the warehouse, his first day back and he hadn't managed to kill anyone he had intended to.

First Harris and that teacher had kept him from killing the cheerleader, then that old fool had managed to stay alive through a technicality.

As Spike rolled up Angelus gave him a shove that knocked him out of his wheelchair before glaring at the Judge. "How much longer before you can kill things." He growled as he paced the clear area in the warehouse.

Thinking for a moment the Judge stepped forward "I am ready to cleanse this world of its humanity." He growled.

Smiling Angelus turned back to him. "Excellent and I know just the place."


	9. Xander and the snake 9

Xander and Kendra entered the Caves and Xander pointed the way towards the fallen rocks. "Here it is." He said as the dark slayer looked over the obstruction for a moment before she headed out of the cave.

As the heavy I-beam crashed through the impromptu barrier Xander watched the boulders crash to the cave floor before he coughed as the dust settled and looked over at the grinning slayer. "You enjoyed that almost too much." He said and frowned when Kendra lost the smile and looked at the floor.

Sighing to himself Xander knelt so he could look up at her and smiled again. "I'm not gonna be mad if you enjoy yourself Kendra, I'm probably going to laugh along with you. Got that?" He said as she nodded silently. "Good, now lets go get things the will make you really smile." He said before climbing over the fallen rocks and heading for the sarcophagus.

--

Buffy growled to herself as she headed back to the library and tried to forget about snide Gypsies that thought too much of themselves.

Jenny tried to ignore the grumbling and sporadic glares the blonde slayer sent her way.

"Buffy…" Jenny started before the blonde slayer whirled on her with a glare.

"I think you should leave." Buffy growled as she continued to glare at the Gypsy before turning on her heel and continuing her way towards the school.

Jenny stared in shock as Buffy walked off before shaking her head and following.

Neither noticed the older Gypsy watch them from the shadows of his building before pulling out a cell phone and pressing speed dial.

As the phone on the other end started to ring Enyos turned and walked into the alleyway.

--

Xander and Kendra looked around the empty warehouse silently.

"They're not here Sir." Kendra said as she double checked the area to make sure it wasn't an ambush.

Sighing to himself, Xander nodded in agreement. "That must mean the Judge is running."

/But from what your books say this 'Judge' doesn't run, he walks./ Yerin said from the back of Xander's head.

"Hey, I'm the dedicated funny maker here." Xander said as Yerin snickered in response.

Sighing again Xander ignored Kendra confused look and thought about the situation. "Okay they need somewhere with a lot of people." He mused as he started to run through the list of possible targets. "The bronze is closed tonight, the zoo is on the off season." He mumbled.

Kendra thought about the few places she had been since coming to Sunnydale and finally decided to speak up.

"What about the mall sir." She asked and looked at the floor for a second when Xander whirled around to look at her in shock.

"I Remember there were a lot of people there when Buffy and Willow went with me to buy me some shirts." She explained quickly.

Xander stared in shock as his mind locked onto the fact she was right. /I'm an idiot./ he thought to himself as Yerin chuckled in the background of his mind.

As the two headed for the exit, Spike wheeled himself around one of the crates and watched them run out.

"Soddin' poof is gonna get my Dru killed." He grumbled before his chair was flipped backwards dumping him on the ground.

Looking up with a snarl Spike saw the grinning face of the older Gypsy Angelus was going to kill before his boot came down on Spikes head and the world went black.

--

"Lock the exits, boys." Angelus said with a smile as he watched the moving mass of humanity.

As the vampires move to lock the door Angel looks over at the Judge and waves him foreword. "It's all yours." He said as the Judge smiled and moved towards the humans.

--

"What are we doing here, sir?" Carter asked as she shifted her ice cream cone from one hand to another to keep it from dripping over her hands. She didn't even consider licking the thing.

"We're looking for anything out of the ordinary." O'Neil said as he ate his ice cream and watched the shifting crowd.

"Umm… Jack, would several people in clothes I would likely find in a dig closing closing and locking all the doors in the mall count as out of the ordinary?" Daniel asked as he pointed the offending individuals out to the leader of SG1.

Jack looked up from his ice cream and noticed the people the archeologist had pointed out before his attention was drawn to the stairs on the far side of the mall.

"Carter, radio the car and tell Mac and Sam to call the cops." He said as he pulled his sidearm and headed towards the blue skinned alien that had just started to walk down the stairs.


	10. Xander and the Snake 10

James Marsters was a vampire.

A condition that brought several distinct disadvantages to it. Allergic to silver, a tendency towards combustion, a rather severe reaction to sunlight and an annoying distaste towards holy items.

The fact that he would never age, never grow tired, never get sick and most importantly was dead and thus did not have to pay taxes, offset the ending of his acting career when he died ten years earlier.

And anytime his lack of life upset him all he had to do was turn the channel until he found an actor from his time and laugh at how they had aged.

/Except Sean Connery… there was something wrong with someone that could age like that./

Shaking the thought off, James looked up at the four humans that where desperately firing round after round at the other minions Angelus had recruited for this mission.

He knew from personal experience that even though the bullets hurt like a son-of-a-bitch they wouldn't slow the vampires down. Unless the humans caught a miracle, they were going to die.

If they where lucky, his fellow vampires would rip them apart when they got within reach. If not, they would be brought before the judge and be incinerated.

That's when the door he was guarding exploded inwards.

Ducking away from the shattered door, James turned in time to see a dark skinned girl step through the broken exit and swing a weird looking staff at him.

As the scoop at the end of the staff caught him under the chin, the decade old vampire took flight. It was amazing the things he noticed as he sailed through the air with the greatest of ease.

The first thing he noticed was the detached way he felt the pain from the staff, almost as if it was someone else being hurt. Second was the annoying grating sound as the bones in his jaw worked their way back to where they belonged instead of wrapped around the backside of his head like Daffy Duck.

He noticed the ugly ceiling as he went sailing underneath it, the rather shocked look on Angelus's upside down face, that it was about time for someone to buff the floor again, and then he was back looking at the dark woman who was pointing the bulb at the end of her staff at him as it split open. And then the ugly ceiling was back and he wondered why anyone would choose puke green to paint a ceiling before he had flipped around again and Angelus seemed to have just broken out of his shock as he was point towards him and yelling something.

--

As the vampire was halfway through its second spin cycle, Kendra triggered the Staff weapon and allowed herself a small smile as the blast of raw energy slammed into the back of the flying demon and scattered its dust across the mall floor.

As the last particles of dust floated down the silence was broken by a single voice.  
"Hey Mister ANGELUS! Would you like a copy of the WatchTower?"

--

Thanks to some of the things he had survived, Jack O'Neill was by nature very hard to rattle.

Why just last week he had managed to think up several sarcastic comments in one conversation while fighting for his life against alien worms bent on world domination,  
but there where a few stone cold truths that he clung to with rabid determination.

One of these truths was the fact that Homer Simpson could kick the ass of Papa Smurf in a steel cage match any day of the week. Another truth was the fact that when he shot an unarmored human with a forty-five caliber hand cannon they fell down. This was an understandable truth to stand behind and he had in fact tested this theory several times in his years of military service.

He was thus very annoyed when he shot an unarmored individual no less then five times before said individual fell down. He became extremely annoyed when the individual then decided to stand back up.

It was very rude for someone to stand up after he had killed them.

His anger had started to turn to fear as his team had thrown everything they had at the seven men and women that were charging them and only succeeded in slowing them down. Oh and pissing them off.

Yup, they seemed real upset as they closed in on his team with obvious ill intent and then the door exploded as the girl that had gotten lucky and knocked his team out earlier jumped through with a staff weapon.

He was more then a little surprised when she hit the one thug at the door with the staff and swallowed heavily as the thug went flying. His mind shut down though when the staff blast hit the thug in the back and blew him to dust.

Turning towards his team he saw the surprise and shock on Daniel's face as he tried to figure out how she had hit him that hard.

Carter seemed more focused on figuring out how they had managed to get a triple zat function on a staff weapon.

Teal'c was watching the staff weapon hungrily as he gripped the foreign weapon he had been issued for off base use.

Jack looked back in time to see the person they had been sent to capture step through the shattered door and grin at the shocked looks of the occupants.

"Hey Mister ANGELUS! Would you--

--

--like a Copy of the WatchTower?"

Angelus snarled at the interfering little shit as he once again stepped between him and his goals. He was about ready to order his minions to crush the annoyance when the Judge simply stepped forward.

"I will crush this insect, no weapon forged may harm me." The blue demon growled before stomping towards Xander and the Jamaican slayer.

--

Yes I know it's short, but I REALLY wanted to get the next part out before the plot bunnies started to eat my brain.


	11. Xander and the Snake 11

Xander glared at the blue demon as it stomped down the stairs towards him.

Triggering the staff weapon once and then again, he let out a small sigh as the Judge merely shrugged the energy impacts off. //I knew it couldn't be that simple.// he thought as Yerin sent a mental smirk his way. Turning towards the four that had been trying to capture him earlier, Xander drew his arm back.

--

"JAFFA KREE!"

turning towards the shout Teal'c snatched the staff weapon out of the air, spinning around to bleed off some of the energy the Goa'uld had used to launch the weapon to his current position the former First Prime of Apophis enjoyed the familiar weight of the weapon as he turned it on a human he had already shot several times with the firearm he had been issued when he left the base earlier.

As the weapon swung into line with his target, Teal'c pressed the firing stud and watched as the familiar energy blast impacted the center of his target's chest.

The force of the impact was so great it actually picked the demonic Vampire off the ground, he didn't have long to worry about being airborne as he was nothing but settling dust by the time he hit the floor.

Had Teal'c watched he would have been surprised by his target disintegrating in such a fashion.

Instead his entire focus was on the next target as the training ingrained from hundreds of battles fought for a false god forced it way to the surface.

--

Spike blinked as the world came back to him in a rush of agony.

Snarling in pain and anger, the vampire sat up quickly before snarling again as his head slammed into the top of the coffin.

Ramming his fist into the box, the demon howled as his fist impacted steel and broke several bones in his hand.

"Can you hear me?"

Spike stopped his cursing as the voice whispered in his ear.

"Can you hear me?" The voice asked again as Spike finally found the speaker embedded in the side of the coffin.

"Who the hell are you?" Spike demanded as he tried to figure out a way to escape.

"Come come now William surely you haven't forgotten me already, from what I hear it's not every day a mere mortal kicks the face of the self proclaimed 'Big Bad' now is it?" the voice mocked as the memories from before he lost consciousness resurfaced.

"You... you're that bloody Gypsy Angelus was going to knock off aren't you." Spike said as he put a face and name to his captor.

"Very good William, excellent in fact. I do believe you were the smartest member of the scourge to ever be so blatantly stupid." The mocking voice said again with more anger the humor this time.

"Hey now mate, I admit I can be a bit daft at times but…"

"Did you really think we wouldn't find out? Convincing Darla that Angelus would enjoy a Death Day present of a pure gypsy is hardly the most original thing you could have done." Enyos said as Spike's worry began to mount.

"Hey now you can't pin that on me mate, I was two hundred miles away terrorizing a small French village with Dru when that happened." Spike defended as he racked his brain for any way to escape the situation he was in.

"Yes odd that, one of the few times the scourge split up and you just happened to have left enough people alive in that little hamlet to properly identify you and Drucilla, thus saving you from our vengeance." Enyos said over the speaker as he tried to restrain the urge to destroy the undead where he was. "But you didn't expect Darla to figure it out, did you William? You especially didn't expect her to flee our wrath and hide with the one person who could protect her. The Master was truly a master of his arts, not very subtle, but a master at what he knew. He managed to save her from our vengeance on the word of her serving him during his imprisonment," The elder Gypsy said as Spike began to thrash within the confines of his steel box.

Ignoring the frantic words from the small walkie talkie, Enyos continued. "Everyone in the supernatural world knew where she was, so I can't for the life of me understand how we didn't notice you and Dru never hooking up with her after that point. The truth was that she would have likely killed you and your lover for your betrayal of her Childer." Enyos said simply as he looked down at the grave holding the body beneath him. "The clan would have never figured out your involvement in the murder of Anna had Darla not had a letter being held by some rather disreputable lawyers in Los Angeles that was to be sent to us in the event of her final death. Quite ingenious after all, revenge from the grave and all that. In truth the clan almost sent the letter to Angelus and let him deal with you, but vengeance is ours to deal out, ours to control. I believe we got a tad too poetic in our dealing with Angelus, so I intend to keep this simple. For the murder of our kin, I sentence you to an eternity. They say that a vampire that goes without blood for too long will eventually eat himself to dust just to end the hunger."

Looking down at the steel box, Enyos pulled the lever on the cement truck beside him before tossing the two way radio into the rapidly filling hole.

"Goodbye William." The Gypsy said simply before turning and walking back to his apartment.

He had an appointment with one Rupert Giles on his list next.

--

(A/N) Again, you have no idea how hard this chapter was to write out, Work has been a nightmare and I am currently in the process of Moving so that's not working to my favor.

Sigh I hope you all enjoyed this.

-Tjin


	12. Xander and the Snake 12

(A/N) Sorry for taking so long, the muse to this and many of my others stories died a tragic death many months ago, as such this is my second attempt to resurrect this story from the ashes.

--

As the massive, blue demon stomped towards him, Xander took a moment to assure himself that the palm device was firmly attached. He momentarily wished for more time to come up with a better plan before the demon was on him. Raising the hand device Xander felt the surge as the more experienced Yerin rushed to the surface to do battle. As he drifted into the background of his own mind, Xander hoped that this plan would work.

--

Jack O'Neill ignored the ongoing struggle between the two dark skinned warriors that were trying to protect him and his team and the small horde of humans that seemed intent on ripping them apart. Instead his focus was on the two aliens below as the Goa'uld and blue skinned alien lashed out at each other with red ribbons of energy, and for the first time since first stepping through the shimmering pool of water known as a Stargate, Jack found himself silently rooting for the snake.

--

Outside, Jack's brother had gotten tired of waiting for the police to arrive and was currently putting the final touches on a plan.

The plan consisted of his knife, a length of rope, a large roll of carpet, three rolls of black electrical tape, two bike tires, a heavy rock and one unlocked Peterbilt. While not one of his more elegant plans, the legendary problem solver was reasonably sure it would get him into the mall.

Taking a breath 'Mac' started to put his plan into action.

--

The gathered demon hunters stared around the empty warehouse with a sense of despair, Cordelia had come up with a plan to destroy the Judge, that plan was now in jeopardy as the empty building seemed to mock them silently.

"You said the Judge needed people to power up right?" Buffy asked and threw out the most likely answer as Giles nodded. "Then it has to be the Bronze."

"Closed for the weekend." Willow answered as they wracked their brains for possible gatherings of people.

"I know where they are." Oz said after a moments thought.

--

Xander blinked as the exhausted Yerin took a backseat in his mind to rest, leaving the Scooby to stare at the rather large pile of smoldering ash.

Taking a step towards it, Xander felt the last ounce of energy escape his body before he collapsed.

His last view, before blacking out completely, was of Kendra rushing towards him.

--

Angelus cursed as his day was once again ruined by Harris. Swearing vengeance against the human, the vampire pulled the babbling Dru along behind him as he headed away from the strange staff weapons that had proven their effectiveness against his kind.

He was mere feet from the door when the wall exploded inwards, startling the two master vampires.

Diving to the side, Angelus managed to avoid the majority of the massive vehicle as it crashed into the shopping center with the subtlety of a battle tank.

Of course, avoiding only the majority of a semi-truck meant he didn't avoid it completely. Screaming in pain as the wheels rolled over his left leg crushing meat and bone, before the vehicle's forward momentum carried it off him. The recently returned master vampire cursed the universe in general for his rather inglorious return to the side of the black hats.

Drusilla was less lucky, still not fully recovered from her weakness, the insane vampiress had barely started moving when the dust and rubble covered bumper caught her and sent the unstable creation of Angelus into the darkness of unconsciousness.

--

(A/N) Short I know 'Sorry' but I am trying, please don't give up on me yet.

-Tjin


	13. Xander and the Snake 13

"Come on Oz, we need to get to the mall," Buffy urged from the back of the band van.

Oz checked the rearview mirror before shrugging "Sorry, Construction" The teen explained simply.

Not that he needed to explain as they had all seen the cement truck filling a large sink hole near the road. The workers must have left as the sun was setting, leaving only one older man with a machine to vibrate the thick mixture to "remove air Bubbles," Giles had explained, that of course had required an answer as to why they needed to remove the air bubbles and needless to say the fifteen minute wait had seemed like forever for the gathered teens.

Stepping on the gas slightly, the large vehicle accelerated smoothly towards their destination, after a moment's silence, Buffy reached up to flick the radio on in an attempt to ease the tension.

This had an unfortunate effect due to Oz having recently replaced the stereo earlier with a better system, but he hadn't been able to get it hooked up correctly before being interrupted by apocalypse watch and the need to transport everyone across town in search of a demon.

What this all meant was that with a snarling pop, the large van quickly began to fill with gray smoke and the heavy scent of melting plastic, while at the same moment the headlights flickered and died.

This of course produced a rather spectacular flurry of activity within the limited space of the van. Buffy immediately leapt back from the sparks and smoke and managed to successfully land squarely on her Watcher; who gave a rather undignified squawk as he tried to move out of his slayer's way and only managed to knock over a set of subwoofers that crashed to the floor of the van among the musician's trade tools. This, of course, drew the blue haired driver's attentions away from the lack of headlights and far more importantly the road, as he tried to see what had been damaged.

This caused Willow to lean across the van and try to keep the van on the road. Feeling the wheel pull against him, Oz shifted back again, accidently hitting the switch for the high beams just as the van crashed up onto the curb.

Ignoring the distinctive 'thump' as they jumped the curb, Oz carefully pulled the van back on the road while simultaneously slowing to a more controllable speed as he rolled down the window to clear the vehicle of the smoke. As the van cleared, Oz spared a moment to almost glare at the blushing slayer before taking a deep calming breath and turning his attention back to the road once more.

--

Angelus cursed fluently as he limped away from the fiasco the Sunnydale mall had become; while several curses were targeting the universe in general, the majority of it focused on one Alexander 'Xander' Harris in particular.

He had just worked his way to Xander's grandmother and her rather obvious relations with the family livestock when he was speared by two bright beams of light, frozen like a deer before a Peterbilt. Angelus had time for one final curse before the big van plowed into him and drug the master vampire under its wheels.

Had anyone in the van that had just ran him down spared a look behind them, they would have seen the crumpled form of Angelus as he turned his curses towards Henry Ford and he wished he was back in time when the greatest hazard on the road were the 'horse apples.'

--

At the remains of the Sunnydale Mall, Colonel Jack O'Neill was trying to figure out a way to prove he wasn't at fault and he wasn't responsible for rampaging blue aliens, weird snake heads, bulletproof gangs, Teal'c or for his brother.

Taking a deep breath Jack looked around at the damage the building had sustained before focusing on the sad, sad, sight of a triple scoop chocolate cone with sprinkles as it lay slowly melting on the mall floor.

"All I wanted was some ice cream," He mumbled to himself before turning back to Carter while she tried to explain what had happened in a scientifically logical manner.

Personally though, Jack was simply going to put it down as alien (A)whumping alien (B) and leave it alone. He really didn't want to explain the gang members.

--

Dru blinked as the world slowly crawled back into focus and she found herself staring at the open end of the strange staff that had killed so many of her kind earlier. Ffollowing the staff weapon back to it's bearer, Drucilla snarled as the gold symbol on the big warrior's forehead burned into her mind.

The last thing the insane seer of the legendary "Scourge of Europe" saw was the blinding white flash of light as the weapon fired… and then there was silence.

--

(A/N) I know it's been a while since I posted… well, anything really. My muse hasn't really been working with me lately and this is the first thing I've actually written out, I hope you all enjoy it.

-Tjin


	14. Xander and the Snake 14

O'Neill sighed as he tried to explain to his commanding officer what had happened in a way that wasn't going to get him kicked out of the military for mental health concerns.

"… No Sir…

Yes sir we _did_ have him, but he escaped…

He had help sir…

No sir it was, well, a girl sir…

That's right, about sixteen we guess…

No sir, the Goa'uld was handcuffed by that point…

She beat us up sir…

Umm, all of us…

Then they just ran off. We searched for several hours before finding a viable recon point to…

Yes sir we did…

Double scoop of chocolate…

Hey it worked, we found him…

No sir we don't have them they, sort of escaped again…

We were kind of distracted by the bullet proof gang members and large blue alien…

Yes sir I did say blue alien… he was _blue,_ sir… he also had an energy beam that dintergrated several civilians…

Well… no sir we didn't catch him either…

The Goa'uld showed up while we were dealing with the bullet proof gang members and…

That's right… because we shot them…

Yes sir a lot…

Well they did, but then they got up again…

In all honesty sir, it seemed they wanted to bite us…

No sir I don't think they were playing…

Because we were shooting them… well… they disintegrated when we hit them with a staff blast…

Teal's has it sir…

The Goa'uld gave it to him…

I can try, sir, but I don't think he's gonna give it up anytime soon…

Well, Carter's been trying to dismantle it for the last fifteen minutes. She's interested to see how it disintegrates people instead of just blowing big holes in them…

I don't know sir, she's kind of morbid that way…

He's still not giving it up…

I _told_ him he had to sir. He said he would rather kiss Kronos…

I don't get it either, but he's still not giving it up…

What blue alien? Oh right, he disintegrated sir…

The Goa'uld did that…

Yes, but the staff didn't affect it…

He gave it to Teal'c…

He seemed to use a hand device sir…"

--

Under a mountain halfway across the country, General George Hammond held his head as a migraine started to surface, "So what you're telling me is that you have several humans that were disintegrated, an alien that disintegrated them and who was also disintegrated by another alien, and several abnormal, possibly alien humanoids, that can ignore being shot by a side arm, yet were disintegrated when shot by Teal'c, who is in fact an alien. Does that cover what you just told me?" Hammond asked in disbelief.

"Yes, sir. That pretty much covers it," O'Neill responded unhappily.

"Well then, what happened to the Goa'uld, or did he disintegrate too?"

"No sir, I think he escaped when the semi-truck came through the wall."

Hammond was desperately trying to figure out a response to that when a commotion on the other end of the lined interrupted the conversation for several seconds before O'Neill returned, "I'm going to have to call you back sir, I think we're being threatened by a cheerleader with a crossbow," O'Neill said hurriedly before the line went dead.

Hammond pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it for several seconds before returning it to the cradle and leaning back with a sigh. He really wished he knew how he was supposed to write this up for the president.


End file.
